Sunday, October 25, 2009

Starting over again

And now I find myself facing a new beginning. The emotions that are involved this time are much deeper than before. I didn't expect to find myself here on the brink of 40 and I had hoped to never be here again.

What do you do when you see your relationship just dying in front of you? I have been watching this for the past three years, not seeing any answers that were simple. When it finally came to a head, I was ready to have it end. But now that we have agreed to do so, the real journey for me begins.

The emotions are almost like dealing with a death of someone you were once very fond of. I think of the things I am going to miss. But then I also think of the things that drove me to this point....lies, betrayal, infidelity.

A lot of different thoughts run through my mind at any given do I tell my son, my family, my friends? When should I move? Nothing is ever as simple as it should be, as each decision I am faced with shapes what my future and the future of my son will be.

This is my journal on finding me again.

1 comment:

  1. I envy you having this spot to journal anything and everything you want. My blog is more of a family project and lots of friends and family visit so I have to measure my words. I've often thought of having another blog just to be anonymous and totally truthful with myself. Take the time to enjoy this journey.