Now I've really one and done it....got strep throat! I need to start taking better care of myself and finding an outlet for all the stress in my life. It just seems like par for the course. It is so easy to feel sorry for myself and just keep being blue. I have to find what works for me to get me out of these blue funks.
I can't go back to work until Thursday and am trying to just rest. Inner reflection is inevitable when you are stuck in bed for two days, feeling punky. Soul searching is so painful right now but it will help with the healing process, the sooner I face and deal with my fears.
I did take one of the hardest steps and talked to my dad. It's nice to know I can always go home. That is where I plan to go to. My best friend questioned whether or not that was healthy for me but I feel it is. I want to go somewhere that I am loved unconditionally, that I feel safe and can "lick my wounds" per say. it is also a familiar place for my son, which is very very important when all the changes start to happen. I want that security there for him.
If I feel better tomorrow, I am going to clean in his room, get rid of anything he has outgrown or worn out. I am ready to start packing, making that move towards the transition that is in my near future.
One of these days, I will look back and read these posts and realize I am doing the best I can for my and him. I am stronger than I have given myself credit for.
I will be better on the other side of this. It just hurts getting there.